guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
