I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
