I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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