so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
