I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
