Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
