So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize