if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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