They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
