what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
