I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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