Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
