So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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