In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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