You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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