we made out on top of his cat.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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