someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
