I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
