tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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