How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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