I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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