So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
