I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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