We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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