I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
