Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
