ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
