I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
