I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
