In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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