HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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