she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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