I can tuck mytits in my pants
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
