i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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