There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
