That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
