That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
