I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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