How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
