Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
