Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
