is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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