She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
