How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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