You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
third nipple confirmed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
