In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
