This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
