I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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