I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
