R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
